science-fiction film time again at this years nziff
not my favourite genre but done well and i embrace it
only a vague idea about this one but seems like a good concept
the opening background narrative over the opening credits sets it up
the year 2040 - 18 years after a chemical is injected into the upper atmosphere
designed to slow global warming but over-successful - earth has now frozen over
a handful of survivors are on a huge train on a constant journey around the planet
but not in space - on land - on a train/track designed, built and driven by 'wilford'
the film opens in the chaos and squalor of the quarters at the rear of the train
it all looks like a cheap production with average actors full of earnest intent
their brief is to look as desperate as possible - it all looks like life in a sewer
the hero and sidekick introduced early - let's call them the edge and prince harry
their mentor is also there - missing limbs and all - gilliam - played by john hurt
that gives me hope for the film - he is (was) an actor of some deserved repute
the beings at the back of the train are under armed guard - concentration camp?
they are routinely counted and raided for their children to be taken forward
so the expected scenes of despairing mothers and fathers as this happens
food - protein blocks - a dark brown jelly like substance is all they have
prince harry munching on one and telling the edge - i'd love a steak
mental note - i suspect a scene coming up where that happens
a plot hatched by the edge to get to the front of the train - somehow
'we have 4 seconds while all the doors are open to get out of here'
mysteriously empty barrels appear to construct a human sized pipe
tilda swinton (more cred) puts in an appearance as the guards boss
playing a caricature of a bespectacled, buck-toothed, shreiking woman
we're now off in weirdsville - not sure now of the seriousness of the director
maybe this is supposed to be a comedy - or maybe just expect the unexpected
whatever - it's all a bit silly - more so when the forward attack is launched
martial arts then on display - lots of implied blood and guts but none seen
not looking for it really but just confirms the b-grade look and feel of it all
convinced now that it's all intentional in this genre but foreign territory for me
my watch is my friend now - one hour down and one to go - oh well hang on
as they move forward they rescue a security expert (korean) from a drawer
some kind of cryogenic chamber but just a large filing cabinet - more cheap props
he is hostile but tempted with the reward of some hallucinogenic toxic waste rocks
he wants his young attractive (korean) girlfriend along also so she is also 'woken'
and moving forward - doors are hot-wired and more baddies slaughtered
we enter the carriage where the protein blocks are made - mashed cockroaches
more anger and violence as a result of that little discovery - chocolate anyone?
silly, silly, silly - thankfully the pace has picked up and there's some visual interest
each carriage they conquer contains a microcosm of life on earth as we know it
now seeing the large budget on display - a large nursery within a glasshouse
a walk-through aquarium where the edge and team indulge in a sushi lunch
then into a school-room with another heavily caricatured teacher and kids
singalong time - this film is all over the place - intentionally i presume
more and more carriages needing more and more martial arts displays
and then finally - they crack into wilford's private carriage at the front
surprise, surprise - ed harris is playing wilford - instant credibility
and plays him well - cooking up a steak (told ya) - cool and calm
a sit down meal with the edge and all is revealed about the train
and then - finally - the big climax - it crashes off it's tracks
but not before an an observation that the ice outside is melting
and emerging from the wreckage - a mother and child - oh shucks
looking on at a polar bear - yea ok i get it - climate change is real
i don't recall ever being so relieved to get to the end of a film
i'm sure some people will rave about it - but not me
bloated and silly b-grade sci-fi - thanks but no...
